I often feel completely inadequate as a mother. I try my best, I do, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel good enough.
I yell too much. I can’t keep a clean house. I don’t play with them. I lose my temper far too quickly.
I love my kids fiercely, but sometimes it’s hard to like them….or rather, what they do. And I know I KNOW the feeling is mutual. And I blame myself, mostly.
I’m jealous of mothers that just do it so naturally, so calmly, so happily. I’m happy for them, of course, but I also sometimes feel like my kids drew the short straw when they got me, the mom that sometimes yells about how messy their rooms are when she puts them to bed instead of tucking them in and kissing them good night.
I will always ALWAYS fight for them, protect them, and try my best to set a good example, praying they grow up to be good, polite, kind people. But if I’m their role model, I can only hope that the good days weigh on their hearts more than the bad.