This Saturday morning*, I’ll be running my third half marathon, and the one for which I have a specific time goal in mind (before now, it’s been “to finish” and “to take pictures with Disney characters and then finish.”

I’ve been training almost nonstop for months. I’m ready for this race/really want to get it over with. I listen to the advice of marathon experts, and try my best to follow it. But some things are out of my control.

So, here’s some advice from me….What NOT to do the week before a half marathon:

1. Go out of town the weekend before. If you’re training, you know how important it is to keep the long runs consistent. I have done them almost every Sunday afternoon since I started. So, naturally, the last two or three long runs have been on a Thursday, or a Friday, or whenever I can squeeze it in during a few crazy busy weeks.

2. Solo parent. I know my husband can’t control when he goes out of town for work. I also know that when he goes out of town for work, I lose a lot of sleep and wake up at 4:15 am panicking about what the hell I’m going to do with the children at 5:30 am Saturday morning when I have to leave for the race.

3.Freak out. See #2. Also see: when I freak out, I break out, and on Saturday morning, when I’m getting my sweaty picture taken after the race, I will have no makeup on and all of the stress-zits will be clearly visible (thank God for Instagram filters). OH! Plus the eye bags from the not sleeping.

4. Potty train toddler and other enormous toddler changes. Now is NOT a fantastic time to throw your whole daily schedule up in the air and see where it lands!

5. Get so burnt out from training that you stop training. I think taper weeks are awesome. Namely because I can do the bare minimum of running when I just don’t. want. to. run. anymore. See also: no time to run because of absent husband and potty training non-sleeping toddler.

If you’re like me and are forced to do any or all of these things right before a race you’ve been training for, I recommend a hat to cover half your face, and a super cute outfit. Those things you CAN control.

Saturday morning, I’ll be fine probably. Or the sidewalk spatulas will scoop me up.

*After I wrote this, we had a bit of a family emergency come up and I won’t be able to run the race after all. But I wanted to share my infinite wisdom with you anyway.