Sharing the Day. #iPPP

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Last week, Ivy turned six years old. I posted this on my Facebook page:

Every year on July 25, I’m thankful that Ivy shares her birthday with her dad. Because even though they never got the chance to meet, they will always have that special connection.


A lot of people don’t know that Ivy was born on her late dad’s birthday. It actually didn’t look like she would be. I can’t remember exactly, but she was either a few days early or a few days late. On the 25th, I was in labor all day with her, going into the hospital sometime late that morning, and ending up with an emergency c-section at about 10:00-10:30 pm, when the doctor broke my water and the umbilical cord came out with it. I’ll never forget that night. It was a completely surreal experience, and for some reason, I was completely calm as they wheeled me down the hall, the doctor crouched on top of my bed holding the umbilical cord inside of me.

All of my friends and family were worried about what was going to happen, I think, and freaked out, but I never felt that. Maybe I was in shock, or maybe after almost an entire day in labor, I was too exhausted to think.

I do know that Ivy was born on the 25th, only about 59 minutes shy of midnight.

When we were in court, and the hearings for the woman who hit and killed my husband were wrapping up, they asked me if I wanted to say anything to her. I wrote something out, and though I couldn’t look her in the eye in that court room, I got up to the podium and I read it. I told her that I was angry that my daughter would never meet her dad, and that I was angry that he would never get to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, see her graduate from high school or college, or celebrate her birthdays with her.

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve struggled with my beliefs for the last seven years, and heard the same message at two separate funerals. I do know that good things happen to bad people, and terrible things happen to good people, and there’s no explanation for it.

But for whatever reason (or by chance), she was born at 11:01 on July 25th six years ago, and even without him there to watch her open presents and blow out the candles, I feel like he’s a part of it.


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24 thoughts on “Sharing the Day. #iPPP

  1. What a special bond! I don't think everything happens for a reason either, that is just such a pat answer. Happy belated birthday Ivy.

  2. Oh Greta, WOW. I did not know that they share a birthday. That's amazing. Truly. And so are you and your little girl.


  3. It is very special that they share that day. Happy 6th Birthday to Ivy!

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  6. Greta, I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. It's a special bond they'll always have. Though I am sure he is with her in some way all the time, he will be most especially with her each year on her birthday. I am sure she will treasure that forever, and it will become even more meaningful to her when she has her own kids. Happy birthday to Ivy.

  7. What a beautifully powerful post, Greta! I think it is amazing that they share a birthday.

  8. Sometimes, things are as they were meant to be, and clearly, Ivy's birth date was meant to be. Love this, Greta.

  9. Aaaand, now I'm bawling. What a special connection they share. Happy birthday, sweet Ivy.

  10. You definitely got me with this one! I can't even imagine. Big hugs to you and happy birthday to Ivy!

  11. That is such a special connection she has with her dad, one I'm sure she'll someday treasure. Happy Birthday to your beautiful Ivy!!! And big hugs to you, mama.

  12. Powerful story and so glad your daughter shares his birthday. Hugs to you, and thank you for writing about this. And P.S. Thrilled to see you at Yeah Write!!

  13. Beautiful words. Happy birthday to Ivy! And I think it's so awesome that she shares a birthday with her dad.

  14. And again, I'm getting teary. I can understand not feeling like things happen for a reason. That explanation doesn't cut it when Ivy doesn't have her dad on her birthday. But I think you are right, he is still a part of it.

  15. He is SO much a part of it and her and you and always will be. And you are right, bad things do happen to good people. There is no rhyme or reason. You constantly amaze me with your strength.

  16. ((( hugs ))) What an amazing and moving post. I'm tearing up. I never tear up. But : snif : ((( more hugs )))

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