Great Expectations: The Life of K

I “met” Kamerine when she started linking up with #iPPP, and she’s been a loyal linker ever since. Her blog is called The Life of K, where she writes about her life as a wife and mom of two adorable kids. She’s also Canadian, eh, which I actually didn’t realize. But it makes sense, given her gorgeous surroundings. She wears many many hats, along with those of wife and mother…she’s a doula, scientist, runner, and writer of experiences.

I’m so happy to be able to introduce you to Kamerine today! If you don’t know her, you should…she’s absolutely sweet as pie.

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You know the saying “always a bridesmaid, never a bride”? That’s not me at all. Never mind the fact that I’ve been both a bride once and a bridesmaid once, it’s the sentiment I’m talking about. I haven’t been a bridesmaid often because I’m not a good friend.

I expected to grow old with my best friend from when I was 5. Or my 3 best friends from when I was 10. By high school I think part of me knew I wasn’t great at the whole friendship thing because I just couldn’t wait to get to university to start over. Who did I want to be? Who were my forever friends?

I got to university and I did what I always do: stay on the fringe. I made friends, lots of them, I was friendly with everyone from my dorm, but didn’t make any great friends. That left me scrambling to find roommates when groups were forming and I wasn’t included. I ended up living with strangers who became friends, but not forever friends.

I spent the next three years wishing I was back in my home town, wishing for university to be over, so I could move on and move in with my then-boyfriend. I sailed through university never cultivating good friendships because everything felt so temporary. I made friends and went out and enjoyed myself, but I didn’t dig in.

I finished university, grabbed my degree, and ran home. I was married after a couple months to my best friend. At the time we were hanging out with a group of guys my husband knows from high school. Over the years the group expanded to include girlfriends. We were the first of that group to get married and the first to have kids. Once we had our first baby we drifted away from that group, unable or unwilling to do the things we always did together.

The group now is still intact, most of the guys are now married and some have kids. You’d think we would have reconnected now that we’re in similar stages, but we haven’t, and I think it’s because we were never great friends in the first place.

That’s the thing: we were never great friends because I wasn’t a good friend. I was, and still am in a way, looking forward to the next big thing. I am unable to live in the moment and really look around me.

Don’t get me wrong though. It’s not that I don’t have any friends. I have lots of friends, some really great ones too. I just expected to have that group of people who have known me my whole life, or a roommate from university that I bonded with, or a friend from a sports team from when I was young.

I’m lucky to have found one forever friend in my husband, but I never found the forever friends I’ve always been looking for, that I always expected I’d have. At least I don’t have a closet full of dresses I’ll never wear again.

Get to know Kamerine by keeping up with her blog, finding her on Twitter, and on Facebook.

9 Responses to Great Expectations: The Life of K

  1. Alison says:

    Hi Kamarine, nice to meet you!
    I'm lucky I have a couple of forever friends, though we don't see each other much nowadays, I know we can pick up where left off.
    It's still not too late to make forever friends!!

  2. Ilene Evans says:

    I don't have that "one group" of friends from childhood – but I do have a few friends from back then and a few from HS and a few from college, etc etc. There is nothing like old friends, who knew me when, and there is nothing like making new friends either. I totally agree with what Alison said in that it is never too late to make forever friends.

  3. Co-Pilot Mom says:

    Although I had many good friends, I don't keep in touch with friends from my childhood. Most of my friends are from more recent years. I have some long-time friends that I don't talk to often, but that it is like no time has gone by when I do.

  4. jwilliams057 says:

    I so get this. I often feel lonely or like I missed out on something because I don't have those one or three friends that had been with me through everything. I hope my daughter has friends that last throughout her life.

  5. Laura says:

    Oh Kamerine! I SO get this. I'm a bad friend too – in that I am terrible at staying in touch and I am awful at reaching out. I've always been "on the fringes" and I always feel like no one wants to be my friend, so I let that feeling make it true. Now that I'm older, I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to reach out and grab on to the few local friends in the same stage of life as me and hold on tight. But I still think I could do better.

  6. Elaine A. says:

    I do have a friend from 4 years old that I do not talk to or see very often. But it's so amazing when we do get to see each other every few years. The memories we share are pretty amazing. Honestly though, I haven't had a best friend (besides my hubby) since like junior high. I've just never had that true bond with anyone, it really is a special thing.

  7. I had a few close friends that I went through a lot with, but over time we grew apart. I miss them dearly and we do text every now and then. I have one super close friend I met online about 10 years ago she is my rock.

  8. AngelaYBlood says:

    I totally get this. I'm a bad friend, really bad at emailing and calling back. Ugh. Facebook has made me feel more connected to people that I've known forever which is nice. And like you, I am so grateful to have found a forever friend in my husband. Thanks for sharing.

  9. Laura Zera says:

    But if you know the friends you have now for the rest of your life, then they'll be your forever friends!

    I think I'm a bad friend, too, sometimes, especially when a friend calls me and I realized that it's, like, the sixth time in a row that *she's* called *me* and I never remember to pick up the phone and instigate the connection. So I tell them I love them more now than I used to, and hope that they'll continue to be forgiving when they don't hear from me for a while.