Tracy has been blogging at Sellabit Mum about her life in Minnesota with three daughters, a husband, and two cats since 2008. She is beautiful, smart, and classy, and uses humor to make observations about her girls and her life. She is a runner (a marathoner, even) and is working to change the world. You can watch this vlog about how her blog name came to be, or this hilariously amazing video she made with her daughters, about her minivan.

I’m honored to have Tracy here today. Thanks for sharing with us, Tracy!

Astrid is trying to put her own shoes on. She can actually do this task quite easily, but she is taking her own sweet time. She knows we are already late, that I am stressed out, and her little game of dawdling is driving me to special crazy place in my head.

She ‘accidentally’ drops her left shoe with an well practiced and oh so fake ‘oh oh’ as she looks up at me to gauge my reaction. She is smiling.

And you know the drill. My choices are:

1. Encourage her with positive messages of “Good job!” “I’m so proud of you for putting on your own shoes!” and “You are such a big girl now!”

2. Act like I’m dying and sit down and put my head in my hands as I make a very loud sighing noise as I resign myself to the next 15 minutes of shoe ‘putting-on-ing’ that I know she could’ve done in 30 seconds but SHE KNOW, SHE KNOWS we are late. and SHE KNOWS, SHE KNOWS that I am stressed..and she is enjoying this.

3. Sit on child and shove her shoes on and then carry screaming child out to the car and then sit on her again to get her strapped into car seat as she tries to wiggle free.

So I obviously choose #3 as we’ve been at this cross-roads before and I know her little game.

And I hate when my three year old is smarter than I am.

You’d think I’d have a little more patience with her. But I wait for her daily with the – “Just one more minute Mama, I need to find a toy before we go.” “Mama, I’m just not sure what I’ll have for breakfast today..give me more time.” “Mama, can’t we just watch one more show before dinner?” “I’m not tired, let’s read five more books tonight.”

We all know this game. We all know the brilliant time management manipulation skills of a three year old.

Sometimes I think preschoolers should teach the art of negotiation to college students. (Except maybe leave out the throwing themselves on the floor part).

Because the more we hurry them along, the more they make us wait.

I expect her to honor my time-clock at all times. Who’s really in charge here.

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I remember waiting nearly four years for Astrid to arrive. She made me wait even when she was just a dream of mine. I expected to have a baby exactly two years after my second daughter so the pattern was perfect. My first two daughters came so easily into my arms.

I didn’t expect four years of heartbreak while waiting for Astrid. In fact I almost gave up on her. I cannot imagine my life now if I had given up on her and just sat on what was keeping her away from me and let it slip from my arms in an angry and uncontrollable rage.

So instead I put my head in my hands, let out a heavy sigh and let someone else take control of the situation. Control of my time.

That letting go and lowering my expectations brought me Astrid.

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