I don’t remember much about the first Christmas after my husband died. It was only about three weeks after the accident, probably two weeks after the funeral.
This was supposed to be our Christmas card that year. You can almost see a second-baby bump.
I do remember two things:
I had written a letter to my family and friends to tell them that I was two months pregnant with our second child, and they were received shortly before the holiday. It was such a strange time, because people weren’t sure whether to feel sorry for me, about to have my dead husband’s baby, or be happy for me, even though my husband had just died. And I wasn’t sure how to react to either of those….reactions. I was happy to be pregnant, but also angry about what had happened, overwhelmed at the thought of being a single mom of two, and probably about 17 other emotions, all at once.
The other thing I remember from that first Christmas is the gift that my brother’s family gave me. My brother had made a wooden box (sort of like a jewelry box) and put a picture of my husband and I on the lid. I was so touched by that gift, because it was made with love, and through grief, and was intended to hold my special memories.
The following year was just as hard, because it was less fresh and I was no longer in that haze of surreal, intense, immediate grief. And each subsequent year got just a tiny bit easier, until I was finally able to enjoy the holidays again.
I know what it’s like to try to get through the holidays after losing a spouse, and also what it’s like to feel incredibly alone during that time. That’s why I’m hosting this link-up for Hugs for the Holidays, to allow those who’ve lost a spouse to find and share support with others. Feel free to link up a blog post, a Pinterest pin, a Facebook status, anything that you want to share on the subject.
Link up your url below, and if you can, visit the others. Help them through what is an especially difficult time, find others in a similar situation, provide support for each other.
There are also other bloggers hosting, for other kinds of grief:
If you have had a miscarriage, stillbirth or loss of an infant link here: fourplusanangel.com
If you have lost your mom link here: sandiegomomma.com
Your dad link here: mamamaryshow.com
Your sibling link here: myinnerchick.com
A child link here: aninchofgray.blogspot.
A friend here: kimtracyprince.com
Thank you for sharing your story, Greta. I can't even imagine the kind of grief and feelings one must feel at such a huge loss. I'm so happy and proud of you for how far you've come, how much happiness and joy you have in your life now.
You never cease to amaze me. You are a marvel to be sure.
I really admire your positiveness, strength and courage, Greta. What a wonderful idea this linkup is!
Happy holidays to you and your sweet little family!
[...] A spouse here: gfunkified.com [...]
[...] Your spouse, link here: g*funk*ified [...]
[...] Your spouse, link here: g*funk*ified [...]
A beautiful post. Your strength is inspiring, so glad you are sharing your story. Everything I read from you makes me love you more.
Hi, it’s my first time here. I am so glad to be able to tweet about each one of these opportunities to share through loss in hopes of reaching people who need it. My throat just aches reading about your husband.
I am happy that we've been introduced, though I wish it was under better circumstances. Thank you for being a part of the hugs for the holidays day and helping others who are grieving with your words. I am wishing you love, light, and strength today, for the next two weeks and always.
Oh hun, you are amazing!
Wow Greta, you are strong. I hope I never have to be that strong, but if I do, I'll think of you.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Sening LOTS of love & hugs from Minnesota. xxoo
Greta, you are amazing. You're so strong and you just ooze joy and happiness whenever I "see" you online. Thanks for sharing more of your story with us.
The honesty and open emotion about our losses are what help help ourselves and others, and thank you doing both.
Oh my goodness, he left behind a carbon copy in the form of Henry. I'm sorry he's not here anymore, G. I think it's wonderful that you're hosting a place for others to reach out during this emotional season.
Thank you so much for this. Xo