The shirt/tie set that I ordered came, and he was so excited. He had to wear it to school the next day.

I couldn’t help but be a little worried. He’s only in first grade, but these days, even first graders can be rough, right?

I thought he looked so handsome, though, and it made him so happy. Puffed up in the chest, even. He couldn’t help but pose.

henry tree

My boy, my oldest, has a way of simultaneously making me laugh, making me proud, and scaring the crap out of me.

I love his imagination, so much. I love that he’s different than a lot of kids his age. I love that he’s loud, and dramatic. I love that he takes the lead on the playground, dishing out character roles to each kid like a manager doling out duties.

henry stick 2

But I also desperately want to protect him from the outsiders that will only see the differences. The eccentricities. The kids who roll their eyes at his games on the slide and run off to play something else. Do they hurt his feelings? Does he even notice? I don’t know yet. It’s only a matter of time before I find out.

henry stick 3

I’ll find out if they’ll make fun of my boy with the squishy cheeks and small stature. The boy that, at just shy of seven, is finally wearing clothes from the boys’ department instead of toddler sizes.

Just the other day he asked me when he would get bigger. He told me that he wanted to be bigger than everybody, but that right now he was only bigger than one little girl friend.

henry stick

Or, I’ll find out if those who meet my boy and experience the force that he is, will laugh with him, and play along with his elaborate games of monsters and skeletons, or Lord Vampire, or cops and robbers. Smile when they see him, like I do. Take in his bright eyes, his fancy shirts, and see him for him. A boy full of joy and gigantic ideas.

henry stick back

Oh, I hope they do. I hope I worry too much.

Essence of Now