Amanda Austin is the funny, adorable writer of It’s Blogworthy, a site that I’m always drawn to as a lover of entertain-o-smut. You know, the celebrity magazines, the entertainment “news” shows. She does a Celebrity Round-Up every week that honestly, is the way I get some of my “news” (I’m a busy mom, I can’t keep up anymore!). So, thanks, Amanda, for letting me know who may or may not really be pregnant/engaged/gaining weight/losing her mind.
But Amanda isn’t just the celebrity gossip disher. She’s also the mama to an adorable little man. I love to read about her as a mother because she’s real and she never sugar coats it.
A fantastic example of this is her post here today. Welcome, Amanda!
I remember the day I found out I was expecting my baby boy.
I took a pregnancy test and really didn’t think it would be positive. It was, and my husband and I stood in shock for what seemed like five minute before we started smiling and laughing. For the next forty weeks, we were a team. I carried the baby, he treated me like a queen and worried almost incessantly about how the baby was doing in my belly. We planned for the baby — his room, his name, his clothes — and agreed on everything. We were excited and kept telling people we couldn’t wait.
I thought I knew how it went. We’d come home from the hospital, a family of three, happy and calm and at peace. Blessed. There would be adjustment, sure, but my husband and I always were like two corny peas in one corny pod, had fun with everything and never took life too seriously. We had a really difficult first year of marriage, so this was nothing. A new baby? We got this.
The arguing set in literally eight hours after our son was born. My husband was asleep on the fold out couch in my hospital room and the baby started crying. Even a few inches away from a screaming child, he didn’t wake up.
“Hey. HEY! Will you get him and just rock him so I can sleep for, like, an hour. Please.”
He said yes, then went right back to sleep. And this continued for months.
We left the hospital and I almost wish I could have left my husband there. We fought all the time about everything. The words of every couple who brought home a baby back to me: “Things are going to change….life is never going to be the same for you two.” I started wishing for my husband back, the guy who laughed and had fun and who wasn’t so worried about our baby while he was sleeping that he wasn’t able to sleep. There were days I didn’t want to be around him. It was supposed to be a really fun, joyous time and we were supposed to be working together, but it felt like we were growing apart.
He was having trouble adjusting to living as a father. It wasn’t just him, though. I was having lots of problems adjusting to being a Mom, too. Around October, 11 months into our son’s life, we seemed to hit our stride. Life started to become fun again. Maybe it was learning the ropes of parenthood; maybe it was our son’s growing independence. All I know is that we were smiling more, laughing a lot and enjoying our child. Now this? This is what I had expected.
I’m not saying it’s perfect. There are still growing pains. I still like to get down on the floor and cradle our now toddler when he falls down, while my husband would rather let him cry. I will let our little guy eat whatever for dinner, and my husband wants him to have a “meal” (let’s all agree meals are overrated, right?) I don’t mind the kid getting dirty, but my husband hates it. What I’m saying is that these arguments, the day-to-day disagreements I expected, still happen, and the terrible ones — the ones that make me long for the days of my singlehood — are gone.
And now my husband is tweeting things like: If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. –Pooh.
We’re finally a team.
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See why I adore her? Follow along with Amanda, and you will too. You can find her on her blog, Facebook, and Twitter.
Meals are totally overrated! Really enjoyed the honesty about the time right after the baby is born. HUGE adjustment! I could totally relate.
Thsnks do much for hosting me here! We new to be frank and honest about new parenthood. It will pass but it’s easier to manage when you know!
Meals ARE overrated. For example, they sell MEALS at Taco Bell 😉
Regardless of that, thanks for the honesty here, Amanda. No sugar-coating for you.
Becoming a mother is no joke.
(Unless you're Jessica Simpson. Then it's pretty damn funny.)
Those first few months are really rough on a marriage. We actually went to counseling once, just to air it all out and figure out how to communicate as parents instead of as husband and wife. Totally different set of rules.
It's funny how people really don't prepare you or your marriage for the strain that it can all take. We thought we would be prepared for the changes our second pregnancy- but it was with twins and I ended up on bedrest. Once the babies were born I went from months of incapacity to being thrown into a shitstorm. The boys are now 20 months (!) and WE are becoming a couple again. This shit is hard! Loved your post.
Parenthood is so tough – on everyone. I'm glad you guys are doing better now that you've made it through that worst point, Amanda!